The Qatari Forum for Authors continues its program of activities for the holy month of Ramadan, by broadcasting a new episode of the initiative “I chose for you from my library” presented by journalist and writer Hessa Al Suwaidi every Wednesday via a live broadcast on the Forum channel on YouTube.
Al-Suwaidi indicated that the first part of Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence” talks about the emotional mind and elaborates on many stories that show the power of feelings over the thinking mind and reviews this permanent war between the mind and emotion and how we can coordinate between feelings and thought, referring to the role that emotions play in decision-making through coordination between feelings and thought, where in this bilateral relationship between thought and emotion, emotional capabilities lead us to take decisions imposed by the moment in conjunction with logical and rational thinking, which makes us present or refrain from the idea itself. . Likewise, the thinking mind plays an executive role in our emotions – except for those moments when emotions explode out of control and the emotional mind falters.
This bilateral relationship between thought and emotion leads us to the emotional capabilities to make decisions imposed by the moment in conjunction with rational, logical thinking, which makes us deal with the idea or refrain from it. Likewise, the thinking mind plays an executive role in our emotions – except for those moments when emotions explode out of control and the emotional mind falters.
The spokeswoman highlighted that Daniel Golman believes that academic intelligence has a limited relationship with success, as a brilliant person with intelligence may fail and lose in his life, as a result of his lack of control over his emotions, as the vast majority of those who hold distinguished positions in society, the intelligence factor did not determine their distinction, but many other factors, which are the abilities of emotional intelligence, such as the ability to urge the soul to continue in the face of frustrations, control impulses, delay the feeling of self-gratification and satisfaction, the ability to regulate the psychological state, and prevent grief or pain from paralyzing the ability to think, and the ability to sympathy and a sense of hope. Therefore, the author asserts that the development of these capabilities in childhood is what constitutes the great difference between one person and another.
In this regard, Al-Suwaidi points out that the thinker cited a research that reviewed men and women who have a high intelligence quotient: versus people who have strong emotional abilities or aptitudes.
It was proved in this research that men with high emotional intelligence are socially balanced, frank and cheerful, and they do not tend to be overwhelmed by anxiety. They have a remarkable ability to be committed to issues, to have relationships with others and to assume responsibility, and their emotional lives are rich. It is a suitable life, pointing out that emotionally intelligent women are decisive and express their feelings directly and trust their feelings. For them, life has a meaning. They are also like men, not conservative social, but more than that, they may regret after their emotional revolutions for their frankness. They are also able to cope with psychological pressures, and it is easy for them to have social balance and form new relationships, and when they joke they feel at ease, they are automatic, open to sensual experience. And unlike women with a high intelligence quotient, they rarely feel guilty or anxious.
Al-Suwaidi mentioned some social arts in dealing with the emotions of others, or what is known as the art of managing relationships between humans, which requires the maturation of two emotional skills: Self-control skills, which are the social skills that make dealing with others effective, pointing out that the inability to possess these competencies leads to failure or deficit in social life, or the recurrence of calamities that occur among people. These capabilities that a person possesses make him able to confront others and also stir the topics that bring him together with them, and lead him to establish successful relationships, and to persuade others and influence them and make them satisfied with their actions. They are also one of the competencies in which people express their feelings and the extent of their success or failure in expressing these feelings. Emotions are transmitted quickly through infection, and the more socially clever we are, the better our ability is in what we send out of emotional signals. Emotional intelligence includes managing this exchange of signals, and the expression “This person is likable and attractive” we use when describing people whom we love to be with because their emotional skills make us feel good.
Hessa Al-Suwaidi presented a group of methods that the thinker describes in the most ridiculous common parental emotional styles:
- Ignoring feelings completely method: These parents view a child’s emotional anxiety as trivial and boring, and they must wait for it to resolve on its own. These parents fail to use the child’s emotional moments as an opportunity to draw closer to the child, or to help him learn emotional competence.
- Leave it alone method: These parents notice the child’s feelings, and consider any emotional storm for the child, no matter how pleasant it is, even if it is disturbing. These parents rarely show their children a different emotional response, and they follow a bargaining style, and they offer them temptations as a bribe to help them get rid of their sadness and anger.
- The method of disdaining and disrespecting the child’s feelings.
- Finally, there are parents who take advantage of the child’s tension and turmoil to act with him in a way that makes him feel that they are his emotional support and help the child in positive ways that alleviate his tense feelings.
The spokeswoman added that despite the interest of some educators with emotional knowledge, courses for this purpose remain rare, because most teachers, principals and parents are simply ignorant of their existence in the first place and perhaps the best models of this education are available outside the traditional educational framework, i.e. in those private schools and the few public schools.
Al-Suwaidi concluded that all programs will not solve all problems, but if we take into account the crises that we and our children face and the amount of hope that emotional cycles of knowledge bring for us, we must ask ourselves the following question:
Shouldn’t we teach these basic life skills to every child, now more than the past? And if not now, when?!!
The Qatari Forum for Authors continues its cultural activities as a cultural body affiliated with the Ministry of Culture and Sports that is concerned with caring for authors, and the forum aims to interest authors, especially in raising the cultural level of authors, in accordance with the Minister of Culture and Sports Decision No. (91) of 2018 establishing the Qatari Forum for Authors and adopting its founding contract and statute.